I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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