I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
