I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
