So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
