it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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