i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
someone owes me an orgasm
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
