Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
