There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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