His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
