he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
