my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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