hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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