My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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