I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
