Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
