I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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