The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
