I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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