my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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