remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day â¤ï¸
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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