just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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