whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
