Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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