you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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