So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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