i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
