Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
