does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
