saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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