His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
