new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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