i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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