Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
