I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
