"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
