Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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