y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize