you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
