We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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