I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
His hands were made for my vagina.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize