2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
