bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
