i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
