Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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(909): View more from California

I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.

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(317): View more from Indiana

fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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(917): View more from New York City

i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.

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(760): View more from California

You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.

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