What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will be naked everywhere
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
