She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is it because I queefed?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
