I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
