He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
