dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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