and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
