I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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