Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
