I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
