U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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