K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
