Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
