you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
