To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
