What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
