its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
