This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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